Its another Monday and I miss The Bachelor. I love The Bachelor and any other dopey, never going to last, dating show. I like them because, honestly, it makes me feel good about myself and my relationship (while giving me something to tweet about of course). I also like them because it is the only reality TV that John Eric will hang around and watch with me. I don't think he really likes it but he does really like to make fun of it. Every season of The Bachelor he walks around the house going, "Oh, this is the one! This is the one!", making fun of us sappy girls for always thinking it is the one. I have to admit that when that comes out of his mouth it really does make us sound so silly.
Really think about it and take a minute to laugh at yourself. You know you have told your friend (or your dog, or mirror) that "this could be the one." You practiced how your new name would look, how it would sound, how your initials would look monogrammed on bath towels, and so forth. You probably even tested out the kid names you have always dreamed of...just to make sure it wasn't playground poking worthy. Keep laughing. I know...Its just plain silly. But its also just plain fun and it feels so good - no matter what age.
The guys know we do this and they think this whole concept is just ridiculous. But we can't help ourselves...and we can't help ourselves for two reasons:
A) We were made this way.
B) We all spent too much time as little girls hiding under the card table of our mother's weekly bridge club listening to them tell their stories of when they met Mr. Right.
Its inevitable. We walk around like a hawk crossing our talons that the next guy to ask for your number is "the one". We want him to be the one so we can not only have comfort in knowing we don't have to go another date and order just a side salad with only one glass of wine, but also so that we can tell our grandchildren that "I just knew." Puh-Lease. Pass the nearest fork and gag me. We need to stop watching Mandy Moore movies and get a real dose of reality.
Here is the reality. You aren't going to know. No matter how many times your BFF Sally says she knew Billy Jo was the one when he held her hair back while she puked from too much PJ at her first frat party. Sally is probably walking around in her apron now. And Billy Jo is probably fat. The point is, we spend every minute of our dating history hoping that he will be the one, but more often hoping that we will be the one for him. Yes, every minute. Ok, maybe at least just every day. The point I am trying to make is that we obsess over this "knowing he is the one" until he actually puts that diamond on our finger. In some cases, that is mighty long time.
Another question: If it wasn't a diamond, would we be in such a rush to get married? Hmmm... That makes us all think now doesn't it. Hahaha, just kidding. ;) Well, maybe not.
Anyways, to wrap this all up, I want you young single gals out there to know that cupid does not have a shovel that will whack you over the head when you meet the man you will marry. Hell, some girls don't even like their future beau when they first meet him. He usually gets on their nerves, which in turn is actually a good thing. Odd, but true. Read some of my prior posts and you will see how they get on your nerves. Annoying, yet undeniably lovable. Its ok, we annoy them too...starting with this whole "this is the one" crap. They hate that. And run from it. In case you haven't noticed. If you haven't noticed, please go rent "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days".
Woops, back to the wrap up. The cupid shovel won't truly hit you until after you are married. The old saying "hindsight is 20/20" stays true on this one. It won't dawn on you until you are talking with an un-hitched friend of yours, and most likely trying to talk them out of a relationship you know is wrong, that you realize "Wow, I really did know!" It really is a moment of enlightenment. Its a surreal reflection on your relationship and you realize that from the day he entered your life it really hasn't been the same. You realize you truly never pictured a future without him, breaking up with him was never an option, and you really did mold your life so there was a perfect place for him to fit in it. The molding could have been as drastic as finding a new religion or just buying an extra couch. But if you don't believe me look back on some of your past "serious" relationships. Look at how you wanted to change so many things about that person, look at how you wanted to break up to have a little drama and feel a little love, look at the fact that you broke up and you are OK. You can't see it now, but you will. Like I said, Hindsight. (young grasshopper)
Oh, and one more way you will know that he is your one is that those past relationships suddenly fell out of your category of "serious". You won't remember that it lasted 3 years and 2 days. You won't remember what they did right. You won't remember their AOL screen name. You won't remember their phone number that you've remember for 10 years. I promise you, it is the weirdest thing, but once Mr. Right gives you that commitment all the Mr. Wrongs are erased from your memory. We thank The Lord for Mr. Right (oh do we), but we also thank him harder that one of those other dummies wasn't our forever.
So the next time some hag tries to tell you she just knew, look at her and say...Well, I'll let you choose what to say here.
If you think I am wrong on this, leave a comment!! If you think I am right, leave 2. And I feel like was a little all over the place so no I am not proofreading...again!
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