realizing disaster

A week day doesn’t go by that I don’t tune in to my favorite morning talk radio show, Ace & TJ.  They have listeners all over the country but their biggest fan base comes from the Southeast which is where they are headquartered.  When I tuned in this morning I was surprised, and in awe, to find that today’s show was not all about the royal wedding but dedicated to raising awareness and money to donate to the victims and recovery of the Southeast Tornado Disaster. 

I have to admit that the first thing on my mind this morning was the royal wedding (as was on the mind of millions of others).  I woke up and turned on the tv as quickly as possible in hopes of catching the exchanging of the vows.  I did and I watched the rest of the coverage as I got ready for work – the royal wedding (and getting to work on time) was the only thing on my mind.  Following my normal routine, once ready, I hopped in the car to head to work and tuned into The Ace & TJ Show.  I was sure that I would be hearing Guenn’s opinion on the big event, but as I said, this wasn’t the case.

I got to work and continued to listen at my desk.  To my surprise, today’s broadcast proved to be a huge eye opener for me regarding the tragedy that just hit our country…and hit so close to home.  Aside from the hosts sharing their insight, the show also included listeners emailing and calling in to share their stories of how they’ve been affected (directly or indirectly) by this disaster.  As an avid listener of The Ace & TJ Show, you somehow feel a part of a family that consists of fellow listeners.  So hearing their stories felt like what I would imagine hearing a close friend tell their story of devastation would feel.  Listening to these experiences was surreal and humbling; I would like to share some in hopes they do the same for you…

what the hell is a push present?

Seriously, what the hell is a push present?  Last night I got in bed with my usual routine of turning on the TV and tuning into whatever reality show is on Bravo.  Last night’s showing happened to be “Pregnant in Heels”.  I wasn’t overly ecstatic about the show but figured it was good enough to get me snoozing.  To my dismay this wasn’t the case at all.

I just started to fall asleep when I heard the lady on TV say something to the effect of “…and don’t forget you’ll get your ‘push present’.”  Milliseconds later I found myself and John Eric both sitting up in bed looking at each other with our jaws in our laps and disgust written all over our faces.  (No, it was not due to an uninvited bodily function.)  Once I realized he’s thinking what I’m thinking I exclaimed, “Did she really just say that!?”  Naturally, John Eric responded with, “What in the hell is a push present?” followed by “[Dang] ya’ll got us every-which-way ya’ll can.”  Normally (being the bull head I am) I would have contested that second line of his with “What do you mean by ya’ll?” and my best head snap but I was too delighted in the fact that we were on the same page...and I was too busy trying to convince myself that for sure a ‘push present’ wasn’t the obvious.  To Google I go and yes it is the obvious - a gift given by the father to the mother who just gave birth to their new child.  


I hope I never catch myself asking a friend what they got as a push present.  If you catch me, slap me.  

I awoke this morning still disturbed and I have to say that I find it ridiculous that a push present has become a ritual and conventional enough to be expected.  Umm...what about THE BABY!?  Isn’t that exciting enough?  What happened to being excited about the miracle of life and family?  The same seems to go for weddings as well these days – girls are so worried about doing something different and having a wow factor that they forget what the day is all about.  In case you are one of those, the day is about the sanctity of marriage and having your loved ones there to celebrate with you – not to put on a show or county fair.  I get so baffled watching those shows starring bridezillas.  I also turn it before throwing the remote at the TV.  

There I go again on a tangent…but it wouldn’t be a true post by me if I didn’t.  I guess I felt like ranting today because I still can't get over this concept.  Please forgive me.  I hope I didn’t offend anyone and I certainly don’t think this applies to all women (or even any women in my life).  I just think it is so sad that we have actually come to this.  I feel like everything special in life is being trumped by foolishness.  However, please allow me to not be hypocritical because if I were to get a push present I wouldn’t necessarily be sending it back (unless it’s purple).  But I also probably wouldn’t notice a stupid push present because the most amazing gift that day (and everyday) are those from God.  Am I the only one that feels like our country is so lost sometimes?  When did we get so far away from our values and so obsessed with materialistic items?  Since when has your husband, your children, and your family not been enough?  Would we really care about a stupid push present if we weren't going to be asked about it?  No, we wouldn't.  If we couldn't have the biggest party or best location would we still get married?  Yes, and it would still be amazing and people who love you still would be there and they would still talk about how sweet and special things were.  We need to merge The Bible, Martha Stewart and Joan Rivers into one and have a major eye opener.  Or I could just do it.  I may be harsher than Joan-ey though.  And then I wouldn't have any readers. : )   Aye yi yi another tangent...that should be my third middle name.  My point is, we need to be excited about what we are blessed with and not what we expect. 


Don't get me wrong, over-the-top weddings (I mean the crazy stuff you see on tv) are still amazing and a thoughtful gift anytime from your husband is always special and sweet.  But being able to be happy with the simple things in life is the best blessing of all.

window shopping thursday, anyone?

Yes I have been slack lately.  This is I know.  But I must admit, of all things, I miss Window Shopping Wednesday the most.  I've skipped out on it lately because I promised myself (and my wallet) starting this Spring I would wear clothes out of my closet.  To my surprise (and John Eric’s) I have done just that.  But who doesn’t love a little window shopping?  Everybody say 'I'.

This weekend’s festivities consist of a bridal shower Saturday afternoon followed by the engagement party Saturday night.  I, personally, pulled out half of my closet last night and was able to pull together some outfits and even find a dress for Easter Sunday.  But I still can’t resist looking to see what is out there…there’s no harm in looking, right?

As an excuse I shall live vicariously through Madison.  Last Saturday we were talking about what we might wear this weekend and whether or not to wear the same outfit to both events (since they are in the same day).  That seems easy enough, right?  After much discussion we realized it really isn’t.  One is a girly, day-time, springy, garden party type affair and the latter is a casual celebration of eating, drinking, and dancing.  Naturally, I was browsing the online catalogs and found what would be the perfect day to night outfit for the ever-so-slender, long-legged Madison. 

First, I found the core of the outfit which would be the dress.





Daytime Sparrow Cinch Dress
Available at Buckle



Second, I think it needs a belt to break up the all over print.

Leather Chain Belt
Available at Gap

For the daytime add a cute pair of innocent, flat sandals and your daintier jewelry.

Bernardo Mojito
Zappos.com

Then for night switch it up with a sassy heel and add a denim jacket since it's still cool when the sun goes down.



Antonio Melani "Layla" Sandals
Available at Dillards



Some cute accessories...




Juicy Couture Kissing Birds Ring

Piperlime

 


Hive & Honey Leaf Hinged Bracelet

Piperlime

 

Happy Thursday (my Friday)!

hold the nose whistle, HGTV marge is here.

It's inevitible.  I hit another speed bump in my little parking lot of blogs.  The be completely frank, I've just been in a crappy mood.  I'm not sure what it is.  Well, I am sure what it is, but apparently I haven't gotten past it.

I'll tell you what kind of mood it has been - one of those where even quietness gets on your nerves.  Like when you are sleeping and your husband gets one of those stupid little whistle things in his nose?  You know, like the light high pitched whistle coming from his nostril every time he exhales.  I mean what do you do?  NOTHING!?  Why interrupt his peaceful sleep to rant about your new pet peeve?  Lately I feel about as pleasant as that stupid nose whistle.

HOWEVER, I am starting to turn this little mood of mine around and it is all thanks to my mother (I may very well regret this sentence soon, but it makes me happy for now).  Mommies (yes, I am too old to use the word mommy but I dare you to test me on that right now) always have the right answer.  Well not always, but I'm giving her credit where its due.  In my case, she arrived just in time with the right decor and just the right layout.

My downward spiral started with admitting John Eric's hoarding, which he refers to as antiquing, was getting the best of me.  To be fair, I have a lot of "antiques" too, but this isn't about me.  Oh wait, yes it is. It's about me and my writer's block, my so-called decorator's block, my creativity block...now are you seeing why you didn't want a blog from me lately?  I was having all these blocks because I couldn't get my house right!  AHHHHHHH!  Whew...feel betta'?

So, my mom came and she must have thought it was really bad.  Even I knew it was bad.  I sat in the middle of my living room the week before and cried like someone took my ice cream and ate it in front of me.  Poor John Eric.  He walked right outside and threw away those Bi-Lo baskets.  Bless his heart.  But its not really those things, it was everything!!!!  I have nice things, but  I just couldn't put anything in the right spot...not even Brice, and he is usually easy to place...he likes to be by the door.  HAHAHA  Oh yeah sista, I am on a roll now.  Geez...ADD.

Back to Marge.  She literally swooped right in and swooped me right out.  She took one good gander, turned to me and said, "will you please leave?"  I jumped on that like I would my returned ice cream cause I knew I wouldn't be forced to move any furniture.  So I left her and the boys to ponder over the mess I had created and called a living room.  Where did I go?  To the tanning bed, DUH!

Upon my return I found bliss and amazement in the fact that she was able to merge old leather with new leather, movie theater tv with a cozy desk nook, rustic brick with new shiny things, my entire room and cheetah window treatments...(hahaha this sounds so crazy, but trust me it works and they don't scream cheetah stripper dance or anything hideous like that)...and last but not least...

my favorite things

with his favorite things...

to form holy matrimony...

Because isn't what it's all about?

'til girdle do us part

OK girls, it's that time of the year again...Wedding Season!!!!!  Time to dust off those girdles and pull out your dancing shoes. 

Did she just say girdle?  Yes, yes I did.  Do you prefer Spanx?  Or perhaps really uncomfortable form of birth control?  Laugh!  You know what I'm talking about.  Keep laughing because you just realized how true it is.

Aside from the shoes and spandex harnesses, it also mean its time to put your best magnetic strip forward.  And its not necessarily the dresses and gifts that cost so much but the meticulous grooming we require of ourselves.  Hence, we pull out the Am-Ex we've ever so cleverly tucked away and spend every last lunch break running errands to get ready for the "Big Day" that isn't even our "Big Day". 

I don't know about you, but I have a full on schedule when it comes to these events.  And I seem to put more effort into being a guest at a wedding then I did getting ready for my own wedding!  Here is a sample of how I think a normal prep-week should go:

• Sunday - Monday: Find your dress!  Geez, you are giving me anxiety already.  Low & Behold it require alterations.  If you are overdue for a hair appointment get it done...NOW!
• Tuesday: Find the right accessories and shoes to compliment your dress.
• Wednesday: Try it all on and locate the best girdle (I just like saying this word because it makes John Eric laugh).  The masses tell me we aren't using the term girdle any longer...we call them Spanx...I refuse to conform.  I like to tell John Eric "If you are from Mullins you were raised in a girdle, whether a size 2 or size 20."  Now every time I wear a dress he says, "Got your girdle on?"  But we aren't the only ones.  Just Google Celebrity Spanx Malfunctions and see all the skinny starlets accidentally exposing their secret shape wear.  Man this makes me feel better about myself.
• Thursday & Friday: Make sure what will be seen is in tip top shape.  By that I mean pedicure & manicure, waxing, facial mask (my must have), exfoliate exfoliate exfoliate (use gloves & my fave body wash), get a light Snooki spray tan, take a diuretic (am I going overboard now?), etc.
• Everyday: denying yourself of any food that may possibly have more than 100 calories, extra leg and arm exercises, amping up your nightly skin care routine, teeth whitening, and so forth. 

This may seem a bit overboard, but I think some would argue that it is "underboard" compared to their normal regimen.  Like I always say, I know I am not the only one out there.  I have a friend who claims to wear 1 girdle to normal events and 2 girdles to weddings.  I would pay to see what kind of jumping and pulling goes on when she's getting ready.  I would also pay to see how she uses the restroom.  Even I don't have a large enough imagination to dream up that one.

I have also yet to dream up an answer as to why we go above and beyond to look our best for a big day that doesn't belong to us.  Two hours into the night we're barefoot, cuttin' a rug, mascara smeared as far as our temples, and dumping the Spanx in bathroom trashcan.  But hey, at least we know we tried and hopefully snapped a picture before being introduced to the open bar.

Happy Wedding Season!



published!

Uh Oh!  so-called housewife got published!

About.com Favorite Sundresses

my so-called hoarding husband

Oh, I got one to make ya'll really laugh.

Tonight, Rivers an d Chasity came over for dinner.  I found myself apologizing over and over for the mess we have in our house.  As you know, we are still stuck with 2 houses and are working on getting mine sold.  Saturday we worked on this the house we live in and today we worked on the house we need to sell.

If I'm ever home longer than an hour at a time (that isn't sleeping time) I try to do some redecorating.  Why constantly redecorate?  That is where the story lies...

John Eric is a man.  He is one of those men who is always on the hunt for a "deal".  Experts call this disease hoarding.  His hoarding comes from his father as does most of the crap he drags home.  Just last weekend he made 10 trips to and from his truck to unload the "wait til you see what I got" items.

As most of you know, you can't just shoot them down send them to Goodwill (my that would be nice).  You have to entertain them and let them believe they found a gem (well, not always).  Then you find yourself faced with the biggest battle: 'How in the hell am I going to make that work in my house?'  So, Saturday I was working on that and hit a road block.  You won't be surprised by my roadblock when you see some of these pictures.  Allow me to share A FEW of his "best" finds...

As you browse, please keep in mind that I am in the middle of shifting things around.  I have to move things out until I can muster up a vision.  And sometimes I have to wait until he's not looking and sneak it out of the house.  We don't really live in an unorganized hoarder house.  Well, not completely.

A skull...we don't live in Texas.

Shells...we have TONS...I can only do so much with this...we don't live at the beach.

He thinks all of his sporting equipment should be displayed vs neatly tucked away into a closet.  He also thinks that every hat he owns should be displayed.

A broken rocking chair because every house needs one of those.

An indian.  He keeps us safe at night.

Not one, but two Bi-Lo roller baskets

Driftwood...

why not stick wine bottles and golf balls in the drift wood?

Speaking of wine bottles...he sees need in holding on to those too.

Deteriorated duck box

(on top of waders that don't fit him...but they were a good find)

A desk chair from the 1800's (maybe) for the desk we don't have

Two random pieces of pine that he still hasn't found anything to do with

A broken stainless steel Coleman cooler because those always work

A Bacardi bar mat!?!?

Some poker card dispenser chip holder thing & some fire man sign

Last, but not least, the antenna from the 90's that he refuses to take off the house in case we ever need it.  I'm sure Bill Gates won't be able to find a better solution.  Insert confused face.

I know, some (meaning like 3) of things aren't so bad.  But they are so bad when you don't have a man cave or beach house but only a 3 bedroom home.  And don't worry, its just a matter of time before these items disappear one by one.  "How about that!  Someone else had the same thing and donated it to His House. I can't believe it either.  No, we don't need another one."  WINK!

The best part about this blog is John Eric looked at my pictures and didn't think I did him justice, so he went around and took more.  The first step is Admitting.