Keep your kankles to yourself

In case you didn't know, I LIVE for Wednesday nights!!  I don't know what excites me more - Cam from Modern Family, willingly sharing the couch & remote with my hubby, or pampering myself with an at-home pedicure.  Ok, I’ll admit it; Cam is what excites me the most!  Cause we all know I’ll have the at-salon pedicure, please.   Love the pedicure too, but hate the price?  Me too, so I lie, I'll do mine at home. 

Over the weeks I have shockingly discovered that these pedicure specialists have been holding out on us and I mean big time.  While thumbing through your Glamour magazine, how many times have you wondered: A) Are they talking about my kankles? B) Can I do this at home?  C) Does it hurt everyone’s abs to hold their foot up this long?  Answers: yes, yes, and I really hope I’m not the only one out there.  Stop the Presses! Yes I said Yes to A.  They really are talking about you…to their neighbor…in a different language.  I know we all try to convince ourselves that no, they aren't talking my kankles; they are talking about Charlie Sheen.   Nope...Sorry Ladies.  Don't believe me?  Go ask "John" (the little one with the glasses) at Season Nails on Rosewood in Columbia, SC.  He actually laughed when I asked.  Shrugged his shoulders.  Then let me in on the conversation about the lady across the room.  He also laughed really hard when I told him what kankles are.  Bastard.  I knew he thought that all along.


OK, back to the at-home pedi.  I am about to let ya'll in on a money saving secret.  No, I'm not telling you to take away your 'me time' luxury.  I'm just saying you can save $120/month this summer by cutting your salon indulgence back to once a month.  You can pout, but I guess that means you haven't noticed that gas prices are nearly $4 a gallon!!!!  Freakin' Gudaffi.  Or however you spell his name.

OK, for real this time...

Supplies: (And DON'T even think about going to Walgreens or CVS to get these.  GO TO SALLY'S or any other Beauty Supply store.  The Drug Stores will kill you with their overpriced Sally Hansen nail crap.  And Sally’s sells what your guy is probably using anyways.)

• Base Coat ($2)  [my choice]
• Top Coat ($2)   [my choice]
• Cuticle Oil ($2)  [my choice]
• Chosen Nail Polish  [this week's pick: chinchilly - I thought this was fitting since we got warm weather and then slammed with cold & gloomy again.  You can find it in some Targets.]
• Pumice stone ($2)  [Mr. Pumice is awesome because it is so easy to hold and maneuver.]
• Nail clippers ($3)
• Cuticle cutters ($4)
• Nail File ($1)  
• Thick gooey lotion/cream
• Liquid body wash  [I like to use Softsoap Pure Cashmere for my pedis]
• Epsom Salt (optional)
• Plastic tub  [my choice]

So, we're talking a maximum get-started price of $6 - $25 because most of you (hopefully) already have clippers, files, pumice stone, lotion, tub, etc.  These items should last you throughout the better part of the year.

Steps:

1. Fill the plastic tub with warm water and add Epsom Salt
2. Allow feet to soak for a few minutes
3. Dry toes and nails; remove existing polish; re-submerge
4. Clip nails & cuticles as needed; file as needed; re-submerge
5. Add a quarter-size of soap to the pumice stone and scrub.  Make sure you scrub heels, sides, bottom, inner ball (of foot – in case that wasn’t clear), and don’t forget the tips of your toes. 
6. Dry feet and put tub aside.  No more soaking.
7. Slap on a little cuticle oil
8. Apply the base coat, then 1 or 2 coats of chosen polish, and finish with the top coat.
9. Once the nails have dried, lather on the lotion.
10. TIP: Clean and dry your tub, then put all your items in there for one-stop storage and easy access.

Looking at these steps, it might seem like a tedious process.  Trust me, it isn’t!  And why not give yourself an excuse to sit down and be waited on?  “Hey Honey, my feet are wet, could you…” & “But my nails aren’t dry yet” are the perfect excuses to not lift a finger (or toe) for an hour...well, for at least a little while anyway.