my purse hoarding confession

I seriously need to go on that hoarding show (you know, the intervention show for hoarders - I think it comes on AETV or TLC - one of those channels in the 40's).  Actually I should probably create my own show called Purse Hoarders and then patent it.  No, it wouldn't be about the massive amount of purses we women have stuffed away.  It would be about all the ridiculous stuff we have in our purses and WHY in the hell we have it.

Earlier this week John Eric and I decided to go out and have a nice quiet dinner.  As I grabbed my purse to run out the door I realized that it was super heavy.  For a second I thought I may have smuggled a small child home from the grocery store.  Don't worry, that wasn't the case.  If it was, I certainly wouldn't be telling you.  I would be freaking out and trying to find that child's parents!  I'm not ready to feed anything but myself and Brice.  Anyways, when we got back home I had to figure out what in the heck was in there causing it to be so heavy.  Curiosity killed the cat, so of course I dumped it out and this is what I found...

If you look at this and think, "What's the big deal?", you should probably join me in therapy.  Maybe we could get a group discount.  Do I seriously have 3 lip glosses, an ink pen, a Clinique travel brush,  a gift box of earrings, my Bernardo's, a loose Bi-Lo card, trash, Marc Jacobs sunglasses, 3 coozies, Trident gum, D&B wallet, 3 different meds (why is everything in 3's?), a Ray-Ban aviator case, 1 hair clip, nude lip liner, carmex, other lip stuff, keys, and a some kind of pocket knife!??  I don't even know where the knife came from, but I am glad I wasn't hopping on a plane this week.  That is also the second time I have found an unexplainable knife in my bag...so weird.  There must be a little leprechaun following me around.  Oh, I forgot that my cell phone and camera (that obviously wasn't in the picture because I had to use it for the picture) were in there too.

Is this not complete ludicrous?  I think so.  No wonder I can never find my keys and I often find myself leaning to the left.  To think, all this time I self diagnosed myself with scoliosis it was just my overloaded purse.  There should be a weight limit law on those things.  Hmm...I should patent that too.  

I'm sure some of you are cracking up at the purse stories playing out in your head!  If you have a good one, please leave a comment to share!  I would love to hear it.  Or, if you feel like emptying your purse, please send me a good pic of that too!  If I get enough, I'll post them later!  Wouldn't that be fun?  We could call it Purse Stories!!  Ya'll come on and play along, it will be fun!