Thursday, June 2, 2011

where did the azaleas go & why is that stump there?

We've been married for just over a year now and I still haven't quite gotten the house to where I want it.  I've finally convinced myself that there will always be a project.  If I could just hit a small jackpot, I could buy what I want, hire "help", and get it done.  But that will never happen.  This is life, and I don't play the lottery.  And if it did happen, I would still need another project in a month or so. 

Call me crazy?  Yes, I know.  But I also know that most of ya'll are the same way.  My Aunt Pam consistently makes yearly (possibly bi-yearly) adjustments to her home, and I have flashbacks of my mom updating a bedroom, dining room, living room, or kitchen on a regular (regular = all the time - the madness never ends) basis.  Those flashbacks could be a result of too much paint inhalation as a child from her never ending "projects".  You know, I may have had a legit argument all those times I threatened to call DSS.  Mama would just say, "call them, they'll take you, not me."  {Don't worry, I had a "normal" (non-abusive) childhood.  All children threaten to call DSS when they get in trouble or don't get their way, right?  Please say yes.}  And for the record, she is still always changing something!  Every time I come home she gives me the "let me show you what I did" tour which leads to "let me show you what I want to do next and I want you to help" deal.  Can a girl catch a break?  Just kidding - I love it (and wish I lived closer so we could do our projects all the time, but then we would both be DIY broke)!

Anyways, for now I do feel like I have a good grip on the inside of our house and can put some things on hold.  Now we plan to shift our project focus to updating the outdoor components of our home, landscaping in particular.  Our first plan of action is to work on the front flower beds.  We have casually talked about what we want to do, but we haven't actually had a sit down discussion to really map out a plan.  The sit down discussions are key in a relationship, but it seems John Eric did not get that memo.

Yesterday evening after work, John Eric let me know he was going to mow the grass and do some yard work.  I don't speak man language well so I assumed this meant mowing the grass and putting the lawn mower away, because like I said, we haven't mapped out a plan for the yard which is was supposed to get started next weekend.  The sun was starting to set, signaling he had been out there for much longer than a lawn mowing, but he was out of my hair so I certainly wasn't going to interrupt.  I heard the buzzing of what I assumed to be electrical trimmers so I knew he was fine and just piddling as usual.  When he came back in he went straight for the shower, but when he came strutting out of the bathroom I knew I was in for a treat.

John Eric entered the living room with his chest poked out and big grin on his face when he told me to go look at the yard.  I thought he just wanted me to see how he trimmed the shrubs or something - it isn't like the yard is a disaster or anything, so what could be so great that I needed to see?  I went out there, and this is what I found...
click here if you can't view picture
along with three other stumps in our FRONT, NOW BARE, flower bed!!!  Yes, Mr. Wonderful took the liberty of removing the azaleas that lined the front porch.  We discussed mentioned removing them from there, but this is not exactly how I envisioned it.  I'm not mad...I actually couldn't help but laugh...but here are the problems I have with this:
  1. I didn't want them there, but I didn't want them moved removed until we drew out exactly what we wanted to do.
  2. I thought we were saving the azaleas to put somewhere in a side bed.
  3. They have to be dug up.  They don't magically go away because you sawed them off. 
  4. Nothing can be planted there until the roots and all have been removed.  Duh.
  5. We won't have time this weekend to do anything and what if rains next weekend?  I guess we are stuck indefinitely with azalea stumps for curb appeal. 
  6. Again...this wasn't discussed yet!!!
Really, all I can do is laugh.  He was so proud of himself.  He says he knows they have to be surgically removed, but he just decided he wanted them gone now.  So...if you needed a bone spur taken off are you just going to saw it off when you feel like it?? No, you would discuss it with your doctor and have a plan.  Why am I so stuck on this discuss and plan thing?  Because that is what couples do!  Even if it is as minor as changing out a flower bed.  You don't rob a bank because you want the money now...you set out a plan and save! 

Well, you can imagine how shocked I am by this.  Honestly, I don't really care about those shrubs; I only cared about them because I care about him.  The week before The Masters he gets so excited because his azaleas start blooming.  He walks around the house waving his Masters golf towel and makes me go outside to "look at the azaleas" at least once a day for a 2 week period.  We even have to stop in the driveway to take a minute (or three) to admire their hot pink blooms.  I didn't want that taken away from him.  It gets him so excited and pumped up for his favorite event and that makes me happy.  But I guess as the saying goes, he will learn the hard way.  We will have azaleas somewhere in that yard and we will continue our Masters routine each year.  So, get to work on figuring out that plan, my love.

I hope all you newly weds can also learn a lesson from this.  Don't do anything without consulting your wife, unless you want to do it twice.

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